No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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