I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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