let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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