I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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