this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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