You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
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You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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