my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize