I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize