the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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