Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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