in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize