I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
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She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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