does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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