we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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