he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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