I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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