Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
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We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
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