Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
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well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The uberlube is also flammable
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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