I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i've created a new STD.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
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