all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
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I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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