can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize