Just fell off a train. Bad.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
high people should be assigned attendants
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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