Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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  (215): She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz" (267): So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning. (215): Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again. http://tfl.nu/rcrj
  Replies (28) Good night (545) Bad night (3036)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.

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  (303): My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks. http://tfl.nu/ug5h
  Replies (16) Good night (1689) Bad night (3295) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night

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  (724): I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night http://tfl.nu/2zdr
  Replies (8) Good night (4307) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.

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  (307): I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American. http://tfl.nu/4si2
  Replies (92) Good night (1498) Bad night (9081) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.

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  (724): Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks. http://tfl.nu/a8rg
  Replies (19) Good night (3670) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer

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  (519): I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer http://tfl.nu/z4my
  Replies (4) Good night (1135) Bad night (1561) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."

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  (480): In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.." http://tfl.nu/m3fa
  Replies (6) Good night (2709) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?

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  (951): Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win? http://tfl.nu/8vq4
  Replies (4) Good night (1036) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  ... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?

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  (937): ... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard? http://tfl.nu/u1hc
  Replies (7) Good night (319) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?

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  (248): When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle? http://tfl.nu/70g5
  Replies (7) Good night (960) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I had to rip your toilet paper for you...

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  (914): I had to rip your toilet paper for you... http://tfl.nu/xdup
  Replies (3) Good night (427) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?

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  (702): Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated? http://tfl.nu/6luu
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (193) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.

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  (405): All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head. http://tfl.nu/p2id
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (155) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood

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  (914): I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood http://tfl.nu/gm6c
  Replies (7) Good night (597) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.

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  (570): Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home. http://tfl.nu/ff77
  Replies (1) Good night (332) Bad night (81) Order T-Shirt

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