as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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