And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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