After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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