I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize