dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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