i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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