and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
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That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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