D3 body, D1 cock
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize