just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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