We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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