A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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