so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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