Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize