Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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