I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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