Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize