so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
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im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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