I don't remember. Are we still dating?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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