its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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