i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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