Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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