Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize