this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
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Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
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tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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