And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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