She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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