drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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