based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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